If you are like me and you have LOTS of clutter in your house, getting rid of stuff produces anxiety. I invited friends to join me in a 30 Day Clutter Challenge. One of them said the process is stressing her out! I can relate. Decluttering is difficult for folks who tend to attach significance to things.
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Those of us who keep too many things usually struggle in one (or likely more) areas with one of these mindsets:
- Sentimental mindset: Seeing that scarf, photo, end table or book reminds us of important people, events or places. We may have trouble remembering things off the cuff, but the item jogs us down memory lane. The French verb for remember is souvenir, so this is a common approach to stuff. We don’t want to forget that trip or the tiny hand print turkey from our kindergartner.
- Usefulness mindset: That extra pair of kitchen scissors will come in handy when one pair magically disappears. I can see how having two pairs is useful.
- Loyalty mindset: Someone gave this to me, and I should keep it because I care about them.
- Avoidance mindset: I know there will be items I don’t know how to handle, so I avoid dealing with the whole box/closet/room.
How to break through the overwhelm
In my 30 Day Clutter Challenge, I came across a scarf I purchased at the Paris flea market during my 1985 summer study abroad program. Even though I haven’t worn it in MANY years, I won’t get rid of it. Instead, I’m donating five other scarves I don’t wear. I dug it out of a forgotten corner of a drawer and hung it on my closet scarf rack. Seeing it there makes me smile.
Sentimental stuff: It’s okay to keep some sentimental items. It’s also okay to get rid of some of them. Place a higher priority on your peace of mind and your relationships than on your mementos. You can keep some of your kids’ arts and crafts projects and take photos of others.
Usefulness: Set limits for useful things. Maybe it’s okay to have two pairs of kitchen scissors. If one of them breaks, throw it away. Don’t keep ALL the plastic grocery bags. Have a container for the ones you keep and recycle the rest. I bought some $1 reusable bags from Kroger and Target and use those (when I remember to put them back in my car).
Loyalty: You don’t have to keep every gift you receive from someone you love. It’s okay to keep a few that you use or find especially lovely and give away some for other folks to enjoy. The thing is not the person.
Avoidance: If you’re like me, you WILL find items you don’t know if you should keep or where to store them. But you’ll also find many “duhs” that can be donated or trashed. Just getting the easy stuff out of your house will make a noticeable difference. Try it for yourself.
Real no cost home improvement
A few years ago, I listened to the audiobook version of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. She tells us to handle each item and ask ourselves, “does this spark joy?” For me, the problem is that MANY items spark joy. Or my creative brain can imagine a future time when the item would be useful. Then it would spark joy.
I tried her method on some of my clothing and got rid of some items I didn’t really enjoy wearing. I struggled to apply her method to my books because I love them like children.
Dana K. White at “A Slob Come Clean” uses a simpler concept for me in her book “Decluttering at the Speed of Life.” She tells us to approach our house and spaces like a container. Limit what you keep by the space you have to store stuff. I need to get rid of enough items so I have room to actually walk in my walk-in closet.
She also encourages us to experience and treasure the wonderful feeling of space to spare. I like looking at the shelf in my pantry that still has space for future items, or the room on my living room display shelf that highlights a beautiful piece. If my bookshelf isn’t packed, I have a spot for that mystery book from Half Price Books.
I think the biggest keys to decluttering are adopting a “can do” attitude and taking time to go through a space. You’d be surprised how much you can do in 15 minutes. Try it on a “hot mess” spot in your house and see if it makes a difference. Give yourself grace and choose progress over perfection.
Instead of focusing on the frustration, let’s take simple steps and think, “each day, my home is getting better.”