Escaping the traps of perfectionism and procrastination

Perfectionism: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable, especially the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”
– Proverbs 13:12 (NLT)

News flash: I get frustrated with myself and my lack of progress on multiple fronts. Over and over and over and over… You get the picture.

– I want to keep to my resolution to blog weekly, but I’m not meeting that goal.
– I want to do a better job getting rid of clutter and cleaning my home, but the piles of doodads and dust bunnies continue to grow.
– I want to tackle the 87 home improvement projects that should be done, but there don’t seem to be enough hours or energy to do them.

I could add many more, but it makes me tired just thinking about all those unaccomplished tasks.

I have these two voices that creep into my brain. I’ll call them Martha and Stanley.

The Martha voice is like Martha Stewart. She wants elaborate dinner parties, a garden bursting with flowers to array in vases and tomatoes to can in jars and a home with lovely decor and floors clean enough to not worry about the five second rule (I remember reading where Martha said the only way to clean floors is on your hands and knees. She knew her daughter was a chip off the ol’ block when she found the young woman on her hands and knees cleaning the garage floor. FOR REAL. THE GARAGE FLOOR). That’s the voice of the domestic diva, the homemaking ninja, the paragon of Pinterest, roles to which I aspire in my more delusional moments.

Then there’s Stanley, as in Stanley Hudson from the TV show “The Office.” Stanley wanted to sit in the corner and do his crossword puzzles and have everyone leave him alone. He wanted to get by doing as little work as humanly possible. Sometimes that’s me. I look around and see the dishes that are piled in the sink AGAIN, the blog post on my “to do” list that didn’t get written AGAIN, the cluttered room that there’s no point in decorating when it’s such a mess AGAIN and I want to find a crossword or an episode of “The Office” on Netflix and bury myself in it. Yes, folks. I’m talking procrastination here.

Y’all, both of these voices need to be evicted from our heads. These are really two sides of the same coin: perfectionism in what I want and disappointment when I can’t meet those goals. When we get caught up in perfectionism, we lose the joy of appreciating the world in all of its imperfect glory. We are MESSED UP and God loves us anyway. That’s grace.  But this doesn’t mean that we give up on the work God’s given us to do. We keep moving forward in spite of our struggles. That’s faith. Although taking a break from work and chores is healthy, allowing discouragement to keep us from making progress is not.

I’m learning that I should not be focused on perfection or how miserably I fail. My focus should be on loving God and showing his love to others. Even though I am a daydreamer creative type lacking in organizational skills and focus, I can take steps in the right direction.

Ten minutes spent dusting in an imperfect manner is better than no dusting at all. Doing one small part of a big project (like cleaning one shelf in my fridge) beats the frustration that I don’t have the time to tackle the whole thing or guilt over allowing it to languish and deteriorate. Writing and posting on my blog even when I lack the fire of inspiration is better than giving in to discouragement.

Get out of the trap

What do you do when you find yourself in the trap of constant striving or chronic procrastination? I’ve adapted these from this article I found by searching perfectionism and faith. Here are some helpful mindsets to adopt:

1. Beware of unrealistic goals. Am I trying to earn the approval of God and others?
2. It’s okay to try and fail. God often uses my failures. What lessons can I learn?
3. Meditate on God’s love for you. God’s love endures forever, and there is nothing I can do to earn His love. Write down a favorite verse and tape it to your mirror or the dashboard of your car. Change the lock screen on your phone or the wallpaper on your laptop to that verse.
4. Celebrate your successes. Thank God when you accomplish a goal or take a significant step forward. Gratitude helps my attitude.
5. Set realistic expectations. If you’re working on a big goal, break it down into bite-size pieces. What is a small step you can take to make progress?
6. Pray. Praise God, give thanks and ask for wisdom to know what to do and gain the strength to do it.

Choose progress over perfection

We don’t always get to choose how well a project turns out and we certainly don’t get to choose how others receive our efforts, but we can choose to move forward. My faith on its own shrivels up. It grows when I choose to do something that God has called me to do. We’re always going to have interruptions, usually people, who want us to do something else. We need to ask the Lord for wisdom in knowing if we ought to pause and oblige or stay the course. Sometimes God calls us to rest, too, and that’s an important part of faith.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” – Matthew 6: 25-27 (NLT)

Really what we’re doing here is learning to listen and follow, rest and rejoice. Rinse and repeat. Here’s how we keep hope alive: not by being perfect nor giving in to discouragement but by trusting and stepping forward.

Will you join me in tackling the messy, imperfect life around us knowing that God is in control? Don’t listen to Martha or Stanley. Enjoy the unique place God has positioned you. Achieving your God-given purpose is sharing His love using your gifts, your talents and your place right now.

This banana slug (Go UC Santa Cruz!) reminds me a little progress is better than no progress.

In case this post seems familiar to my the readers of my previous blog, I took a post from that site, added to it and made it better. Re-use, recycle, repurpose!